When I was sent to play hockey at a boarding school I did not see my final high school years being enveloped in a theme of debauchery. But it was. And that theme was a 5’10” scrawny Mexican American kid named Patricio May. 

As a straight edged white kid who played sports his whole life, on track for an Ivy League scholarship, and a future career in the military, I was eager to meet my new roommate hoping to have similar interests, or that he might be on a varsity sport with me. On the check in sheet, Patricio was listed as being from Southern California which was perfect since I was from Northern California. That was short lived because after moving in, I quickly realized there had not been anything in my 17 years that could have prepared me to meet my polar opposite and especially not to understand the mind of this rogue being that was now going to be living with me for the next two years.

As someone following the so-called “life plan” taking the orthodox approach, it was terrifyingly exciting to meet someone so confident in living life in the disarray of nonconformity. Patricio takes on a heavy influence from his background tying to his Mexican core. With family living in Mexico, he spent a lot of time in Mexico City and Tulum, along with an Oaxacan influence which are intricately woven into his identity. Upon meeting him, it was immediately apparent that his soul is that of a vagabond making it crucial to experience the world, tasting life outside of the American assimilation. At a young age he spent a large portion of his youth traveling the world getting introduced to the liberating scene of Europe. He spent this time going to school in Switzerland and using it as a foothold while wandering around Europe splitting his time between hostels, taking refuge on the couches of friends, and traveling the streets taking on an early love for the art of graffiti. 

Returning to the US after his time abroad, he was faced with a struggle for identity presenting him with an opportunity to question his reality and societal constructs. He was not Mexican enough to be Mexican but not American enough to be American. He had also been forced to confront his understanding of religion which he holds as being fluid. Raised Atheist with Christian influences and even being baptized but also being taught in the Jewish faith he was plagued with questions of his own understanding of our religious surroundings from a young age. This is a theme we can see explored in this book forcing the questions of what identity is and what images do we associate with it?

As the straight edged white kid from California, scared to talk to girls and completely juvenile to the understanding of sex, Patricio was an unknown variable to me. Having lost his virginity at the age of 12, living in a family where sexuality and the comfortability of this topic was encouraged, sex and intimacy have always played a pivotal role in his mind. Having a well-established artist such as Stephanie Bell May as his mother, who uses metaphorical pieces symbolizing human skin and the different identities we have, inspired him as he found his own passion. His art is an evident example of this as we dive into the personal and collective memories that have been intrinsic in his exploration of the eroticism of the human brain and our connection of images to our own perceptions.

In our technological world, shrouded by phones and software, Patricio has taken a modern day approach to oil paintings with editing images our brains are programmed to interpret with a single connotation.With this book, Patricio is taking these images that at first glance portray an emotion or a story but just like with the modern day sexualization of life, he wants that story to slip into the fog surrounding them and enter the world of fluidity that we, as humans, thrive in. Our society finds it uneasy to dwell in the abyss of our fluctuating identities and the uncertainty of “meanings”. As these images are presented to us, some may be ones we have seen before and immediately think we know their origin but with these unique editions the reader is forced to disconnect from their previously held emotions and find a new subjective narrative within our fluctuating minds and lives. 

- Nolan Lapante